The Gas Station Incident

It all started out so innocent. I wanted a snack and some juice to drink while on break at work, a very simple task to accomplish. But as I waited in line to pay, it happened. I had to pee. Not one of those, "wait till you get back to the office" pee's. One of those "if I don't do this now we're going to have a problem" type of pee's.

Now if you know me, you know there is nothing that I hate more than peeing in a public place. I have been known to hold having to go to the bathroom for over 3 hours just so that I can go in the comfort of my own home or a familiar place. Public restrooms are just notoriously nasty, and while my own personal bathroom may not be the image of perfection, at least it's my own mess and I can rest comfortably with that. Now this whole no peeing public rule goes out the window when I'm drunk (because at that point, it seems my mentality is "the more the merrier"), but on this particular occasion it was 3 o'clock in the afternoon and I was completely sober.

I pay for my goods and muster up the courage to try and use the public bathroom that they have. I walk in and notice they have two stalls - one normal one handicap accessible. I go into the regular one, and notice some liquid on the floor (water or pee, I don't care, I didn't want to step in it) and decide that it would be in my best interest to just use the handicap stall. The handicap stall is rather clean, so I decide this will be ok, and get get down to business.

About midway through, I hear the door to the bathroom swing open and someone walk in. I pause briefly, because as I said before, peeing in public terrifies me. Whoever walked in seems to be just standing there, so I continue on. About 4 seconds later I hear feet walking towards my stall, and someone starts banging with such ferocity I instantly start to think that the building is on fire and I'm going to die with my pants around my ankles.

"MAME! MAME! ARE YOU HANDICAPPED OR ARE YOU CURRENTLY CHANGING A CHILD??"

"Well no..."

"MAME! IT IS EXTREMELY RUDE OF YOU TO USE A HANDICAP STALL IF YOU ARE NOT YOURSELF HANDICAPPED OR CHANGING A CHILD."

"Can we discuss this when I get out?"

I hear the woman walk away and what I swear was the door to the bathroom closing, so I just laugh to myself and remind myself to call Meghan tonight and relate this to her. I finish up, and walk out of the stall just to see the woman standing in front of the sink, blocking my way to the soap and water that I so desperately need to clean my hands of public bathroom yuck. I instantly notice she is not an employee of the gas station like I had mistakenly assumed, but just some regular angry looking middle-aged woman.

"Well, I see that you don't have a limp."

"Well no. But I do need to wash my hands so I can get back to work..."

The woman that firmly planted her feet on the ground as in telling me that there was no way I was going to be able to wash my hands until she had said her piece.

"Your generation has absolutely no respect. There is a perfectly good regular stall at your disposale and you choose to use the handicap stall! Such complete dissrespect is why your generation is absolutely worthless."

"Umm there was water or pee on the floor and I didn't want to risk it. And since no one else was in here I just used the other stall. But umm I really need to wash my hands so I can get to work..." and at this point I try to move quickly around her so as to get to the sink, but she isn't budging.

"Complete dissrespect. Your generation is terrible."

"I'm sorry. But..." and at this point the woman moves herself away from the sink so that I can FINALLY wash my hands that I've been holding away from my body for the last 2 minutes out of fear that they touch my coat or purse.

And then, without a limp, a gait, a nagging baby, or a stumble, the woman walked right into the handicapped stall instead of using the regular one that was readily available.

I hate you.